OBAMAS' PILLOW TALK 2

WHITE HOUSE PRESIDENTIAL BEDROOM 12:30 A.M.

ME ME ME CHELLE : HOW WAS YOUR DAY DEAR ?

BARRY : NOT GOOD , THE NEWS WAS MORE ABOUT JUAN WILLIAMS THAN ME . WHAT IS SUCH A BIG DEAL ABOUT FIRING A LIBERAL TRAITOR THAT SPENDS SO MUCH TIME ON FOX ? HE MADE REMARKS ABOUT MUSLIMS THAT HAVE MY FRIENDS AND RELATIVES UPSET . ALL MUSLIMS ARE NOT SUICIDAL BOMBERS AND ISLAM IS A RELIGION OF PEACE , YOU KNOW THAT .

ME ME ME CHELLE : YES I KNOW DEAR AND I ENJOY SLEEPING IN THIS BURKHA , IT HAS A BUILT IN MOSQUITO NET . I LOOK FORWARD TO WHEN ALL AMERICAN WOMEN WILL BE WEARING THEM .

BARRY : I DON'T FEEL UP TO SEX TONIGHT , WHY DON'T WE PLAY THE DVD , THE BEST OF BARACK , AND FLIP THE SWITCH SO THE STAFF CAN HEAR . THEY WILL THINK I AM PERFORMING WITH MY USUAL PROWESS .

ME ME ME CHELLE : I LOVE THAT DVD , IT BRINGS BACK SUCH GREAT MEMORIES . HAS ERIC FOUND A WAY TO ARREST HANNITY AND BECK YET ?

BARRY : THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE WE CAN DEPORT HANNITY TO IRELAND IF WE CAN FIND A FLAW IN HIS GRANDFATHER'S PAPERS OF CITIZENSHIP . NAPOLITANO IS PERSONALLY WORKING ON IT . WE CAN'T FIND ANY RECORDS ON BECK AND HOLDER THINKS HE MIGHT BE ONE OF THE SPACE ALIENS THAT ESCAPED FROM AREA 51 . WE ARE TRYING TO GET A DNA SAMPLE TO SEE IF HE IS HUMAN . IT IS HARD TO LISTEN TO ALL THE SCURRILOUS THINGS THEY SAY ABOUT ME .

ME ME ME CHELLE : WHEN SOROS TAKES CONTROL OF FOX WE WILL BE RID OF THEM . KEEP MAKING SURE THAT HE GETS ALL THOSE DEEPWATER RIGS FROM THE GULF AND GIVE HIM ANOTHER 2 BILLION DOLLARS IF HR NEEDS THEM . HE IS OUR BEST CHANCE TO CONTROL ALL THE MEDIA .

BARRY: YOU ARE RIGHT . THANK ALLAH HE IS ON OUR SIDE .

ME ME ME CHELLE : I ALMOST FORGOT , HILLARY INVITED ME TO LUNCH TOMORROW , SOMETHING SHE WANTS TO DISCUSS . I AM CURIOUS WHAT IT COULD BE .

BARRY : BE CAREFUL WITH THAT BITCH , I HAVE ON RELIABLE SOURCES THAT BILL IS NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THAT FAMILY WHO LIKES GIRLS .

ME ME ME CHELLE : HMMM SHE DID LEAVE HER HAND ON MY BUTT A LONG TIME , SUPPOSEDLY SMOOTHING A WRINKLE ON MY SKIRT . DON'T WORRY , I AM ALL YOURS . 'NIGHT BARRY .

BARRY : GOOD NIGHT 'CHELLE .

Note : the above is a transcript taken from recordings and released by an anonymous source in the White House .